I have been in a fog these last few weeks. Too many reasons to explain why…but somewhere in the last week, the fog cleared. Thankfulness returned and my heart was found overflowing with joy. Nothing new happened. Maybe the change in my life finally became my ‘normal’. Our split time in Indiana and Michigan has finally seemed ‘normal’. I have gotten into a rhythm of cleaning and cooking and schooling and being part of both communities.
Someone in Church on Sunday night asked how I was doing. I was finally able to say…honestly…” I can finally exhale”…she said, …”it seems like you just jumped right in and have always been here.” It is funny the perception of others. I thought it was obvious I was in a fog and had no feeling about anything. We moved to Indiana (part time) for this Church. This is the ministry God placed us in and I had no feeling. Why is it I always remember feelings are not everything until I have feeling again? Now, after all these months, we are here…I can really breathe…we are where we are supposed to be. Now, there is no place I would rather spend my 31/2 days a week.
I am also content to be in Michigan my other 31/2 days a week. Those are the days I home school, I plan for the week, we practice music, we go to football games, I shop…it is familiar. It is where hubby works and can come home to a warm meal and his family. That is why we chose this way. If we chose Indiana without Michigan, hubby would have to drive too far every night and have 4 hours less to spend with his family each day! He would opt out and we would be split up during the week. We have the best of both worlds…and are so undeserving…
My hope is that my children see how much our Savior means to us. How much they mean to us that we would buy a second house in Indiana just to have the best place for us to serve God and to learn to be more like Him. We could have bought a second home in Ft. Myers, Florida…we could have bought a house on a lake…they would have been useless.
I am glad that I can see all of this now that the fog has cleared… I see hope, I see purpose, I see reason, I see trust. I hope the fog does not roll back in any time soon.